


All That’s Left

by ArsonEmbre



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Be very careful who you get attached to, Blood and Gore, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, M/M, Multi, Sibling Love, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22446010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArsonEmbre/pseuds/ArsonEmbre
Summary: Based on the game The Last of UsAfter losing everything in less than a year, Lea just wants to move on from the past and do his best to survive in this god forsaken world. When a little girl that looks like the spitting image of his dead sister comes into his life, he realizes that he has a lot to gain, and so much more to lose.
Relationships: Axel & Kairi (Kingdom Hearts), Axel & Xion (Kingdom Hearts), Isa & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Minor Axel/Larxene, Minor Lea/Isa, Onesided Roxas/Kairi, Referenced Olette/Kairi, Tifa Lockhart/Reno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This au idea would NOT leave me alone. I won’t give any spoilers, but let’s just say that after playing Re:Mind, my urge to write platonic Axel/Lea and Kairi bonding and fighting together shot through the fucking roof.
> 
> Please go easy on me, I’m not used to writing action/fight scenes of any kind. I’m doing my best!

“Ugh, this doesn’t make any _sense!_ ”

A redheaded man pulled his eyes away from the sitcom rerun just in time to see the frustrated teen throw herself onto the floor dramatically. She had been kneeling in front of the coffee table doing her homework, but he could tell she was getting more and more irritated by the work as time went on. He tried not to laugh as she lied there quietly with a pout, staring at the ceiling in defeat.

“What part are you on now?” he asked from his place on the couch. He didn’t laugh, but he couldn’t hide his smile.

There was a sigh. “I’m still trying to do the multistep problems. Every time I try to solve for X on this one, I either get three or twenty-nine, but neither of those answers match the choices on the paper!”

“Give it here. Let me see if I can figure out what you’re doing wrong.”

The pout on the teen’s face remained as she sat up and handed the older man her work. Once he had both the worksheet and scratch sheet in his hands, he skimmed over the equation she‘d tried to solve. Everything looked correct at first glance. It wasn’t until he took a second, closer look that he was able to spot the mistake.

“You keep adding when you get to the middle step instead of dividing. Adding makes the number bigger than what it needs to be, and that’s what’s screwing you over.” He turned the paper toward her and tapped the paper with his index finger. “Try it again.”

The dark haired girl hummed as she pulled out another clean sheet of paper. He watched her scribble furiously on each line, head cocked to the side at what should have been a painful angle, but somehow she was able to work like that. By the time she reached the middle of the paper, she gasped. 

“Did you get it?”

Deep blue eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as she checked her worksheet, then looked up at him. “It’s forty-two...”

Lea leaned back into the couch, folding his arms behind his head with an easy smile. “I think you just did math.”

“And I never want to do it again,” she muttered as she circled the correct letter.

That was fair. He remembered all the times he’d spent agonizing over multistep equations back in high school, and how much calculus and trigonometry made him want to end it all. But he made it through, and so would Xion.

He snorted. “How many more you got left?”

“Eleven.”

Lea‘s eyebrows nearly shot up to his hairline. “Wait, you spent an hour and a half on _one_ math problem?”

“I’m _stupid,_ okay?! Gimme a break!”

It was incredibly hard for him not to laugh at that. On one hand, that kind of self-deprecating humor was right up his alley. Jokes like that carried him through the last two years of high school and all four years of college. On the other hand, they also contributed to the birth of some very self destructive behaviors and an exhaustive list of bad habits. He wanted to be a good example for her and teach her how to be kind to herself before it was too late.

Still...it was a _little_ funny.

“You’re not stu…” His voice broke off as a quiet laugh escaped. It spread to Xion in the form of hushed giggles. He quickly shook his head and waved his hand. “Stop it. You’re _not_ stupid. Math just sucks. Dad shouldn’t have made you take AP classes before knowing if you could do the work or not.”

Xion gave him a weird look. More like a stare, really. Worried that he had said something wrong, he brought his arms down and sat up straight. “You all right?”

The corner of her mouth tugged upward. “I think that’s the first time you actually called him Dad.”

He blinked rapidly. That wasn’t intentional. He hadn’t been avoiding calling Xion’s dad _Dad_ , but he’d never seen a reason to do so either. Both of them were more than comfortable with Lea calling him by his first name. It had become something of a joke in the family; everyone referred to everyone by their first names, and it was funny to them. 

So, should he start calling Zack “Dad” now?

Lea frowned playfully. “Don’t ever tell him I said that. It’ll totally ruin the cool-stepdad-bratty-stepchild thing we’ve got going on.”

Xion’s expression softened, and she laughed. “It’ll be our secret.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence. It gave Lea time to think. It had been two years since her father and his mother tied the knot and gave him a family again. He immediately took to Xion like she had been his sister for all of his life, and having Zack around made his mother smile. That’s all he’d wanted for years.

Reno had been predictably distant. Lea didn’t blame him. Since he was the oldest, the pressure to be the “man” of the family fell on him in their father’s absence. He took everything that was thrown at him and bottled it all up. And any man unfortunate enough to develop feelings for their mother had to go through him and all that internalized rage first.

Zack was the only man who could put Reno in his place and prove that his outbursts wouldn’t drive him away. Something told Lea that Reno was secretly happy about that.

Another gasp pulled him out of his thoughts. Xion hurriedly circled another letter on her worksheet with a wide grin. “This isn’t that bad! I was making this much harder than it should have been.”

“Oh? Do we finally have a mathematician in the family?” Lea teased. 

Xion gave a snort as she began writing down the next one. “Solving complex equations on the first try now? I call that character development.”

Lea started to respond when he heard a loud boom in the distance. It was too short to be thunder and too strong to be a gunshot. Whatever it was, it shook the ground and knocked out the cable.

“Great,” the redhead complained as he grabbed the remote and shut the TV off. The sitcom wasn’t all that entertaining, but he needed something to focus on. It was Thursday night and he had nothing to do and nowhere to be besides home.

Xion had her head toward the window with a look of deep worry settled onto her features. “Do you think we’re gonna have a power outage?” 

That’s when he remembered that she was afraid of the dark. If they lost power, they’d be completely in the dark until it came back on. Who knew how long it would take them to fix the outage of it did happen? Sometimes they were left in the house without power for hours at a time.

He slowly stood and stretched his arms high above his head. “I’ll get the candles just in case.”

She forced a laugh as she stuffed all of her loose sheets back into her school binder and closed it. “Yeahhh, that’s enough homework for tonight. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

That was her attempt at a joke despite her fear. Lea opened a wooden cabinet in the corner of the room and took several glass jars and a lighter into his hands. If he kept talking to her casually, she’d be fine. “Isn’t that _due_ tomorrow? You can use the candle light to finish.”

She sucked her teeth loudly. “What is this, the 1600’s?”

“It could be,” he smiled to himself. He started placing them around the room. “You’re the one that put it off until the last minute. I wasn’t allowed to do that when I was your age. Mom used to make me and Reno do our homework as soon as we came home from school and didn’t tolerate bad grades. You’re lucky your dad softened her up or else she’d have been on your ass too.”

He raised his head to see her frowning. “Your childhood sucked. We _get_ it. Doesn’t mean mine has to too.”

“My childhood did suck, but not because of—”

He was cut off by the sound of the neighbor’s dog growling. It sounded closer than it should have been, and a lot deeper than normal. It caught Xion’s attention too. 

“Is Bucky okay...?”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Lea said slowly. Truthfully, he wasn’t all that sure. Bucky had never made a noise like that before, and he’d known him since he was a little pup.

The next sound that made him jump out of his skin was that of his own phone vibrating against the wood of the coffee table. He huffed—half in frustration, half in relief. That shouldn’t have spooked him as bad as it did. 

Xion picked up his phone. “It’s Dad. Can I answer it?”

Lea nodded. The second she accepted the call, he could hear loud noises and shouting on the other end. He could only pick up on a few words, but not enough to make out a full sentence. Xion’s expression grew increasingly more worried as she listened.

“Are you oka…yeah? No. He’s upstairs. I don't know why he’s not…he’s right here. I’ll tell him. Okay... _okay._ Bye.”

Xion hung up, slowly rising to her feet. “Dad said they’re cancelling their trip and coming home. He tried to tell Reno but he won’t answer his phone. He said to stay put ‘if possible.’ I don’t know what that means but he sounded really scared and that’s not like him.”

Lea frowned. “What’s going on?”

“He said...” She paused to take a breath. “Apparently the news said something about a bunch of people from the mental hospital escaping and attacking people. He said to turn off all the lights and lock the doors.”

“I’ll get the back of the house. You get the front.”

“Right.”

While Xion took care of the front door, Lea put the candles down and stuffed the lighter into his front pocket. When that was done, he quickly moved to the back of the house, making sure to lock both the screen door and the wooden one. He shut off the lights in the laundry room and quickly returned to the living room.

Upstairs, a door creaked open. Hurried footsteps grew closer, and soon another redhead was standing on the stairs.

“Yo, is no one going to call the cops?!” he hissed.

Lea was confused. There wasn’t much that could draw Reno out of his room, and even less of a reason for him to look as frightened as he did. The thing that worried him the most was the word cops. Reno despised anyone wearing a uniform and would _never_ consider calling the cops unless it was an emergency. “C-Call the cops for what?”

Reno jerked a thumb behind him. “There’s a fuckin’ drug addict next door and he’s chewing on the goddamn neighbor!”

“Huh?!”

“ _What?!”_

The sound of glass shattering and falling on tiled flooring echoed in the house, followed closely by Xion’s ear-piercing scream. She tripped over her feet and fell on her butt as she tried to back out of the kitchen. Lea’s feet started moving before his thoughts could catch up with them. When he reached Xion, the twitching body on the kitchen floor started to stand. Its movements were sharp and unsteady, and the choked gasps, groans, and wails he made shook Lea to his core. 

“Get up, get _up_ ,” he whispered to Xion. When she didn’t move, he moved his hands under her arms and forced her to stand. The intruder turned to them and let out a guttural scream. And since Xion hadn’t turned out the kitchen light yet, they were able to see the sickly gray color of the man’s skin, the half dried blood smeared across his mouth and chin, and the wild look in his blood red eyes.

That wasn’t a drug addict. He didn’t know what was wrong with the guy, but it wasn’t drugs.

Lea pulled Xion close as he took a couple careful steps back, covering her eyes with his hand. He didn’t know what else to do. Time seemed to slow, and he watched as the man charged at them. He didn’t want to end up like their neighbor, but he also didn’t want to hurt the guy while he was already severely injured.

He sucked in a deep breath and wrapped his arms tightly around Xion. As the man got closer, he turned his back to him and braced himself for the worst. If there was a choice between his life or hers, he would choose hers. Every single time.

But whatever was supposed to happen didn’t. He’d heard the footsteps, the grunt, and the loud _thwack_ , but his brain still had trouble processing what had happened. Slowly, Lea peered over his shoulder to see Reno standing over the body of the “drug addict” with a bloody bat. The man’s head was no longer in one piece; there was a noticeable dent in the middle of his face and brain matter splattered onto the pretty white tiles of the kitchen floor. 

Lea gagged. Intruder or not, that was still a _human_.

“What happened…?” Xion asked, voice quiet and shaky.

Lea looked to Reno for some sort of explanation. Part of him knew that Reno didn’t have a clue what was going on. It was instinct. Reno was the older brother, the _stronger_ brother. He always knew what to do and he always had the answers. In that moment, he needed his big brother to tell him what to do.

True to form, Reno threw the bat onto the ground and moved to grab a set of keys off of the rack near the front door. “We gotta go. Now.”

“Z-Zack said—”

Reno turned to him with a deadly glare. Lea snapped his mouth shut. “You think I give a fuck what _Zack_ says? We’re not staying here. Get your asses in the car.”

Xion whimpered in his arms. Lea sighed as he looked down at her. She was shaking like a leaf. If they stayed, it wouldn’t be good for her.

He grabbed her hand and moved to the front door. Reno was already tugging on his second shoe by then. Lea handed Xion her sandals and slipped into his boots. When they were all set, they left the house together. Xion stayed silent as they climbed into the car. Lea sat in the front seat, but regretted his decision when he heard her start to sob behind him.

Reno practically stomped on the gas as he backed out of the driveway, yanked the gear shift to D, and sped into the night. Lea stared unseeingly out of the windshield. The world around him had faded, and he could only see the memory of the intruder running at him playing on a loop. Each time it restarted, the man’s face became darker, grayer, bloodier, and more grotesque than the last image. His heart was pounding painfully against his ribcage. His breaths became shorter and his chest felt tighter. He was only made aware of the hot tear running down his cheek because the rest of him felt cold.

“Holy _shit…_ ”

Reno’s hiss slowly brought him back to reality as the car slowed to a cruise in front of a three story home. Right outside Lea’s window was the burning remnants of his best friend’s house. He gasped as he turned in his seat to get a better look.

“Isa…”

He reached for the door handle, and Reno sped up. Lea turned to him in shock. “What are you doing?! That’s Isa’s house!”

“And what are we supposed to do about that? We’re not fucking firefighters, Lea. We can’t run in there and save him.”

Lea growled as he threw himself back in his seat. He knew he was right. Even if they _could_ have helped him, he’s not sure that Reno would have turned around to do so. Knowing that didn’t stop him from feeling sick to his stomach.

Reno sighed as he propped his elbow up on the car door. A few moments of silence later, he raked his hand through his hair. “He’s...probably not even in there. I didn’t see a car in the driveway or anything so...yeah.”

Lea shook his head. That didn’t make him feel any better. He needed to know that Isa was okay. He needed to _see_ him with his own eyes, or at least hear his voice. His mind wandered to his phone...that was still on the table back at home. _Fuck._

“Where are we going?” Lea asked softly.

Reno stayed quiet, and for a moment Lea thought he wouldn’t respond. It took him a while to finally say, “I don’t know.” He glanced over at his younger brother, and Lea could see fear in his eyes. “I thought once I got behind the wheel I’d figure something out but...I don’t know.”

The older redhead made a hard right turn and sped down the street. It didn’t take them long to reach the highway, which was unusually backed up. Traffic was never heavy unless there was an emergency evacuation for a storm.

“Shit, why aren’t they moving?” Reno complained.

Lea swallowed hard. Something wasn’t right. “We should turn around. I’ve got a bad feeling.”

Reno glared at him from the corner of his eye. “Your friend is fine. We’re not going back.”

“I’m not even talking about that! I’m saying we should—”

“RENO!”

Something hit the window hard enough to rock the car. Lea turned to see yet another pale, bloody face growling and snarling at them outside of the window. Xion screamed and scrambled backwards until her back was against the opposite car door. This one was a woman, and she was banging on the window with her fists.

“Fucking drive, Reno!”

“Drive _where?!_ I got cars in front of me and behind me!”

Lea looked out of the back window. He was starting to panic. “I say you ram one of these cars and pray about it later! We can’t just _sit_ here!”

The woman let out a loud screech as she leaned back and slammed her head into the window, leaving a dark red stain behind.

“ _Ram the fucking car!_ ”

“ **_All right!_ **”

Reno wrapped his hand around the gear shift at the same time the woman slammed her head against the window again. The glass cracked. He put the car in reverse. The woman’s strangled cry echoed in the night as she hit the glass a third time, breaking through it completely. She was able to shove her arm into the car, and started swiping at Xion’s legs. Xion kicked and kicked until her sandal collided against her wrist with a sickening crack.

Reno came out of his seatbelt and pushed against Lea’s arm. “Get out! Go!”

Lea quickly abandoned the car and Reno climbed out after him. As soon as he was out, Lea opened the back door and pulled Xion out. The woman started to crawl into the car from the window, not caring that the shattered pieces of glass were sinking deep into her chest and abdomen. Her wrist was bent at an angle, but that didn’t seem to slow her down.

The tapping on his arm from Reno brought Lea to his senses. There was more growling and screaming around them. This woman wasn’t the only one like this, and other people in the cars around them were being attacked too.

“This way!”

Lea turned to his brother, who had already taken off running into the forest. Instinct told him to grab Xion’s arm and pull her along.

The forest was a lot more dense than it looked once he was in the thick of it. There was no way to tell where they were going, but as long as they could still hear the snarling and screaming behind them, they couldn’t stop running.

“Is there something on the other side of this?!” Lea shouted.

“There’s an entrance to the underground tunnels connected to Twilight Town here somewhere! If we make it there, we can maybe find some help!”

He knew which tunnels Reno was talking about. It was a genius idea. He just hoped that whatever was happening hadn’t already spread there too. He also hoped their parents were able to somehow see what was going on and stay far away until they could make it to a phone. They could meet them at the airport and explain what went down or find each other in another city.

Eventually, the noises behind them came to a stop. Reno must have noticed too, because his sprint slowed to a light jog. When they came to a dirt path, they finally stopped to catch their breath.

Xion collapsed to her knees. She was panting heavily and she couldn’t stop shaking. Lea knelt beside her and let his hand on her upper back. “Breathe,” he whispered. “We’re okay. It’s okay.”

She shook her head violently. “It’s not okay!” She shut her eyes as more tears started to fall.“That lady tried to kill us,” Xion sniffed, scrubbing her face with her sleeves. “And my ankle hurts so bad…”

“Let me see it.”

Slowly, Xion shifted until she was able to show him her leg. The deep gashes in both her leggings and her skin...didn’t look good. She was bleeding a lot, and it looked like the wound was already showing signs of infection.

Lea turned to Reno, who looked about as sick as he felt. For once, it looked like he had nothing to say. So Lea sighed. “Get on my back. As soon as we get somewhere safe, we’ll take care of that.”

Xion nodded. When he turned his back to her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him lift her. His hands secured themselves beneath her thighs, and they started down the dirt path in solemn silence.

Seconds, minutes, or hours later, Lea felt Xion’s head fall against the back of his own. He peeked at her over his shoulder, but couldn’t see her face. “You okay back there?”

She moaned. “I feel sick. I think I’m gonna throw up…”

“I’m gonna let you down. Can you stand on that leg?”

“I think so.”

Lea lowered himself into a squat in order to let Xion’s feet touch the ground. As soon as they did, she turned to the side and vomited. It took everything in him to keep his own dinner down, but he managed. It was a small victory that he was grateful for.

Xion coughed and dry heaved for a solid twenty seconds after the initial wave of sickness. Lea stood by her side until she finished. 

“Better?”

She nodded gently. “Yeah…”

A pained wail in the distance hit his ears. All three of them turn their heads in the direction of the sound.

Reno’s shoulders stiffened. “Let’s get going.”

“Right. Come on, Xi.”

Instead of climbing back onto his back, Xion doubled over and propped herself up on her knees. “I need a second.”

The rustling in the trees put him on edge. Reno looked ready to bolt, but Xion still wasn’t ready to move. “I don’t think we have a second. We need to go while we can.”

Two more sickly pale people emerged from the trees, running at them full speed. Lea tried to pull Xion by the arm, but it only made her fall to the dirt.

“Xion!”

“ _Lea!”_

Before he could turn his head to look at his brother, he was tackled to the ground by a screaming woman. Lea struggled to get her off of him, but it wasn’t working. He pressed his forearm against her throat and held her at a distance as she snapped her bloody, rotten teeth at him again and again. He wasn’t sure he could keep her away for long.

Something entered his peripheral vision, and the woman was hit in the head. Lea quickly sat up as Reno stepped over him, lifted his boot, and brought his foot down over the woman’s head until she stopped moving.

Lea sighed in relief, letting his head fall back. Thank _god_ that was over.

Reno moved to stand in front of him, then slowly kneeled until they were eye level with one another. “We need to leave now. Don’t make _any_ noise,” he ordered in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

That much was obvious. But what was with the whispering?

Reno offered him his hand and helped him get to his feet. Although Reno was older, Lea was much taller. He towered over the other man easily. And that’s how he was able to see yet another person on the ground kneeling over a body. His face was buried into someone’s stomach, ripping them apart with his teeth like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

There was no mistaking that hair, those leggings, or those sandals. He gasped, and Reno quickly covered his mouth with his hand. “Don’t look at it.”

How could he not? This man—no—this _monster_ was making a meal out of his little sister. Tears blurred his vision, and he forced himself to shut his eyes.

“I know it hurts. I know. But I can’t let that happen to you too. Please run, _please_ move.”

He shook his head. They couldn’t just leave her there. They had to help her somehow.

“ _Lea,_ ” Reno growled. “Look at me.”

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into shaky blue ones. The tone of his voice did not match the look in his eyes. Reno was scared too.

“You remember when we were kids and we used to play End Of The World?”

Lea nodded slowly. It was a stupid, yet morbid game about the two of them being the last two people on earth during an alien apocalypse, and they had to find a way to survive without getting killed. Their parents, as well as the mailman, were often unknowingly playing the roles of said aliens, and they would have to sneak around them without being spotted. If they got caught, it was instant death.

“One time you got so scared that you refused to leave your hiding spot. I had to hold your hand in order to get you to move. So I promised you that I would protect you until the actual end of the world. So _let_ me.”

His heart was heavy, and the tears wouldn’t stop. He exhaled slowly through his nose and nodded.

Reno took his hand—just like when they were kids—and quietly led him down the dirt path until the squelching and slurping could barely be heard. When they were sure that they were far enough away to move without alerting him, they took off running toward the tunnels.

Twilight Town didn’t fare much better from the looks of it. Plumes of black smoke could be seen all over the city. The flames touched nearly everything it could reach: cars, trees, citizens, and landmarks. The overall smell wasn’t any better. It was a mix of burning rubber, sewage, and rotting meat. But the thing that would haunt Lea for years to come was the sight of the burning clock tower up close. It lit up the night sky and burned with a vengeance. Right before he could look away, two bodies took a plunge over the edge. His jaw hung open as they came closer and closer to the ground. One of them crashed into the roof of a car, the other hit the pavement and bounced.

He never wanted to know what a body hitting the ground sounded like. Now it was echoing in his head.

The feeling of nausea was quickly replaced with hopelessness. To him, it was a perfect picture of the end. Whatever was happening didn’t stay in their city. It had spread, and it would continue to spread until nothing was left.

* * *

  
For months after that first night, things were quiet. It was as if the entire world had fallen apart, and the small, scattered pieces of humanity that remained were shocked into silence. There was no more hustle and bustle of daily life, no cars on the streets, and no train horns blowing at odd hours of the night. Even the birds seemed to cease their morning chatter to pay their respects to the fallen.

On the fifth month, the moment of silence was broken by a single sentence..

“We just left her there…”

Tension had been rising between the two brothers ever since they’d settled down in the city. When the fire died down, what was left of the government went to work creating a city lockdown. The tunnels were closed, barriers were made to keep people from going in or out, and anyone caught trying to leave or enter the city without permission was considered a threat to the “order” that had been established. Orders from highly decorated officers were given and questions were either answered in vague parts or not at all. Reno had called it Martial Law, and said it was what everyone needed at the time.

The older brother looked over his shoulder from his spot at the window. They were quickly assigned a building and an apartment number to stay in once it was discovered that only a fifth of the city had taken on damage. It was nowhere near comfortable, but it was necessary.

“Don’t start this again,” Reno said quietly, as if he too were afraid to disrupt the peace. If they could even call it that. “There was nothing we could do.”

The people who were once described as mentally ill, drug addicts, and cannibals were given a new name: Infected. According to documents from researchers that dated back as far as three years prior, people were getting infected with Cordyceps: a fungal disease normally found among ants, but had more recently been able to use humans as hosts. The fungus acted as a parasite and would attach itself to the brain of its host, changing motor functions and behavioral patterns. As the fungus grew around (and eventually _into_ ) the brain, it caused the host to go into a zombie-like state. It used the zombified host to spread its infection.

“I know that,” Lea hissed. “But it doesn’t help when you act like you don’t even care. Every time I try to talk about it, you brush me off and act like her memory is just an inconvenience to you.”

The fungus ate away at the brain tissue and continued to grow until it broke through the skull, forming what would eventually look like a mushroom. When the host body deteriorated to the point where it could no longer function, the Infected would find a place to settle down—usually against a door or a wall. All motor function stopped, the host became brain dead, and the body would release highly infectious spores.

No one knew how the Cordyceps disease was able to hop from a species of ants to humans, but people theorized that it had started with improper food handling on farms and in factories.

Reno’s only visible brow quirked in a way that let Lea know he was annoyed. Not that _that_ was anything new. Reno was very easily annoyed by everything long before they ever had to worry about Cordyceps or Infected.

“Because I don’t care. I didn’t sign up to be the hero of anyone’s story. My goal was to protect my family and that’s what I did.”

“Xion was your—”

Reno narrowed his eyes. “My _real_ family. A pretty wedding and a signature on a piece of paper doesn’t compare to the blood you and I share. Zack’s daughter was never my sister, and therefore not my responsibility.”

Lea felt his mouth pull into a frown. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He knew that Reno could be standoffish, but to go this far? To stand there and say he didn’t care that a little girl died in the most horrific way possible just because she wasn’t related to him?

He scoffed. “You’re serious?”

“ _Dead_ serious,” Reno replied. 

Whether it was the casual tone of voice, his nonchalant expression, or the incredibly poor choice of words, Lea couldn’t decide. But it was the last straw. In a matter of seconds, months of despair turned into rage, and a half empty coffee cup went sailing across the room at the older man’s head.

The silence was replaced with Lea’s shallow, ragged breaths. He was on his feet, hands curled into fists at his sides, fingernails digging into his palms. The cup had shattered against the window just inches away from Reno’s face, and yet his expression remained the same. He truly did not care one way or the other.

Lea swallowed hard, trying his level best to form a coherent sentence. He felt like if he opened his mouth, the only thing that would come out was the scream he’d been holding in since he’d lost her.

“You’ve done a lot of fucked up shit that I’ve made excuses for time and time again, but this is too far. I don’t care if you didn’t want a new family and I don’t care if you miss Dad—”

In an instant, Reno’s entire face darkened. His shoulders stiffened as he left the window and stormed up to Lea. “You shut the fuck up about Dad. This is neither the time nor place to bring him up. We agreed to let him rest in peace.”

“Oh, _now_ you care about someone else other than yourself?” Lea asked incredulously.

“Do you honestly think I would be standing here with you if I only cared about myself?!” Reno roared. It was the first real emotion he’d shown in months. “This has nothing to do with me missing Dad!”

“It has everything to with that! You’re the one who can’t move on from it! _You’re_ the reason why you’re fucking miserable all the time!”

Reno rolled his eyes, throwing his hands in the air. “Well I’m sorry. I am _so_ sorry that I don’t want to “move on” from my dad’s death. As if that’s even a fucking _thing_ —are you kidding me, Lea?!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that,” he hissed back at him.

“You know what? Why don’t you move on from Xion’s death? Hm? Why don’t you find a new little sister to replace her just like you replaced Dad with Zack? Hell, find a new brother too. Then you can have your perfect new family and never have to worry about the people you left behind.”

“I—no one is leaving you behind, Reno! Christ, you love to be a fucking victim, don’t you?! I’m not the villain because I refuse to sit in misery with you for the rest of my life. I’m tired of your bullshit! When will you grow the fuck up?!”

“How about _you_ get out?” Reno frowned. “If you’re so tired of my shit, get the hell out of _my_ apartment.”

Lea stared at his brother in shock. He knew was that he was angry, tired, _hurt_ , and the only thing his brother seemed to care about was the fact that he wanted to mourn Xion properly, as if doing so was somehow betraying him and disgracing their father’s memory. He wanted to be comforted by the only family he had left. He wanted support. And apparently that was too much to ask of Reno.

Their mother and Zack could have been out there somewhere. Or they could have died. He wanted to talk about that too, but Reno never wanted to. He wanted Lea to bottle up his feelings just like he did and never speak of it again. Now he was being told to leave...because he finally had the balls to call Reno out on his crap.

“If I leave this apartment, I am never coming back,” Lea promised him. “You better think long and hard about your next—”

“ _Bye_.”

His head jerked back in surprise, and he watched the anger in Reno’s eyes turn to nonchalance once again. The older man shrugged, and it felt like a hot knife pierced his heart.

“I saw this coming from a mile away. So go ahead and abandon the only family you have left.”

Lea sneered. He refused to be guilt tripped by him again. He wasn’t in the wrong. He didn’t do _anything_ wrong.

Slowly, he took a step back. “I didn’t abandon you. You pushed me away. And I hope that eats you alive for the rest of your fucking life.”

He turned his back to his brother and moved toward the front door where his shoes were. He took his time putting on his shoes, tying the laces as slow as he could. Lea didn’t _want_ to leave, but he refused to put up with that any longer. If Reno had spoken up, apologized, even muttered a simple _don’t go_ under his breath, things might have been better. They could have sat down and talked it out like the adults they were supposed to be.

Lea wanted him to stop him from leaving. But he didn’t. 

Reno truly didn’t care after all.

It took Lea a long while to find somewhere else to stay. He spent a long time sleeping in alleyways during the day and avoiding being seen by the military at night. He stole food to survive and never stayed in one place for too long. He began to regret leaving the apartment, but he refused to sacrifice his pride and go crawling back to someone who clearly didn’t want him anymore.

Eventually, Lea met Elrena. They bumped into one another while trying to sneak past the military officers. After some conversation and a suicide mission for a couple scraps for food, they learned that they worked really well together as a team. Elrena practically took him in at that point. She gave him a place to stay, helped him learn the layout of the city, and taught him how to use all of the guns she had available.

They became partners in every sense of the word. Both of them wanted to survive, and they helped each other do exactly that. It was convenient for them in this new world that they were forced to adjust to, and it was a comfortable arrangement.

They both had pasts that they wanted to escape from. To put some distance between themselves and the awful memories tied to them, Lea took on the name Axel, and Elrena became Larxene.

This is the beginning of Axel’s story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Vague mentions of suicidal tendencies

The air is warm today, thick with an uncomfortable mugginess that not even a hard breeze could fix _if_ there was one. Axel can’t remember the last time he felt the wind blow and it makes him regret ever stepping outside. Of course, his living space is only a few notches above deplorable—with the mold, the various cracks and holes, the stuffiness, and the threat of getting yet another splinter at every turn—but at least it has somewhere to sit and it isn’t _fucking damp._ He sucks his teeth and sighs as he leans his head back against the dirty brick wall, eyes rolling toward the half lit, navy blue sky. The sun isn’t even up yet. Why is he?

“You gonna keep doing that the entire time?”

Acid green meets electric green. Axel’s frown deepens. “Doing what?”

Larxene glares at him from across the alleyway that they’re currently waiting in. Waiting, _hiding_ —a nuance that meant nothing to either of them. She’s fiddling with the little charm on her necklace, and has been for the past hour. Axel chooses not to comment on it, lest she chew his head off again. “Huffing and puffing like this is the worst thing you could ever go through.”

Axel rolls his eyes, tucking his folded arms closer to his chest. “I’m tired,” he hisses, ignoring how childish it sounds even to his own ears. “I could be in the slight discomfort of my building with a flat beer and a can of peaches, yet I’m standing out here in this disgusting weather at ass o’clock in the morning waiting way longer than I should be for a couple cans of beans and…fucking…diced tomatoes. Or whatever the hell it is this time. Excuse me for being a little irritated.”

The blonde woman gives him an unimpressed look. Perhaps she’s too tired to do anything more than that. “Wah, wah. Give the baby his bottle.”

A sneer forms on his mouth as he pushes himself off of the wall. “We’ve been standing here for hours and it’s never taken this long before. Either they got caught or they stole our shit. I don’t feel like standing here another four hours trying to figure out which it is. Let’s just head back.”

“Okay, smart guy, what if the reason they’re taking so long is because they’re moving a bigger shipment than usual? It’d be harder to get that much stuff around that many guards and stay quiet while doing it,” Larxene frowns. Despite sounding so sure of herself, she stands up a little straighter, craning her neck to peer down the alleyway. Lea does the same, as if he would see something that she couldn’t. There are no footsteps, no murmurs, no signs of life at all. Even the birds are particularly quiet this morning. He looks back to see her brow wrinkle. She probably won’t admit it but the frustration is starting to settle in for her too. “If they aren’t here by sun up, we’ll leave. Happy?”

“ _Thank_ you,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest once again.

They fall back into the closest thing to a comfortable silence that they can get. The higher the sun climbs in the sky, the more anxious Axel starts to feel. His fingers start to drum against his bicep, and he has to stop himself from picking at his lips with his teeth. He hadn’t bought the bullshit excuse of “getting a bigger shipment” for a second. His gut is telling him that something is up. The last time they had to wait this long for something, it hadn’t ended well. Hopefully, Larxene is feeling the same thing, and will speak up soon before his suspicions become a reality.

A loud sigh echoes through the alley as the sun reaches its peak in the sky. Axel looks up to see Larxene pull herself away from the wall. Her expression is caught between defeated and _pissed off_ , and he’s not looking forward to the ranting he’ll have to endure on the way back to their building. “Well this fucking _sucks_ ,” Larxene growled. Here she goes. “That’s the last time I ever give someone the benefit of the doubt. Tomorrow, we’re going to see Braig and find out what the hell is up with his—”

She stops as the sound of echoing footsteps finally hits their ears. That seems to calm her down. Larxene turns toward the sound, and three hooded men enter the alley, walking a little quicker than they should be. Their heads are angled down toward the ground, their hands are stuffed into their pockets, and there’s no sign of the blue crates they would use to transfer food back and forth. Axel glanced at Larxene, who was already looking at him with an annoyed look. A silent agreement passed between the two of them, and Axel rose to his full height.

Larxene was the first to speak as the men approached. “So you make us wait for hours and have the nerve to show up empty handed? What’s your deal?” she spat.

Axel notices the man in the front tense up as he comes to a stop in front of them. “There’s no shipment today. Boss says you’re behind in payment, so we got nothing to deliver.”

“Bull _shit_ ,” Larxene growls as she steps forward. If Axel wasn’t one hundred percent sure that she could handle herself without his assistance, he might have grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. But she wasn’t like any other woman he’d met. There was a feeling of satisfaction that he gets from watching her get in someone’s face. When anyone else would panic and buckle underneath the pressure, she continues to fight her way through whatever dared get in her path. She isn’t afraid of anyone or anything, and he’s proud to know someone like her, no matter how annoying she can be at times. “I paid that one eyed bastard _extra_ just to make sure that the shipment got here a day earlier. There’s no way.”

The figure shrugs. “It’s your word against his at this point, and you know where my loyalties lie. I’m only here to collect the payment. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“I’m not giving you a damn thing. Go get my food.”

“Larxene,” the man urges, voice softer than it initially was. It almost sounds like a plea. “Just give me the ration cards and you can go home. If not…we have orders to kill you.”

And there it is. Axel’s fists clench as he watches the three figures carefully. His gut has never once steered him wrong and today is no exception. He honestly shouldn’t be surprised by the turn of events. This isn’t the first time Braig has screwed them over, and if they make it out of this unharmed, it certainly won’t be the last. This is, however, the first time he’s threatened to _kill_ them over a couple extra ration cards. His supplies must be getting low, or whatever mysterious “connections” that he loves to brag about having must have left him high and dry. And it’s never been like him to play fair. If Braig has to suffer, everyone beneath him will suffer as well. It felt like a long, exhausting game of telephone and Axel was fed up. He _knew_ Larxene was too.

He looked back to the blonde, who hadn’t said a word since the man had spoken his piece. The awkward silence stretched on for a couple more seconds before it was broken by a shrill cackle. Axel knew all too well what that meant. He grits his teeth as he unclenches his fists. His fingers wiggled at his side impatiently as Larxene continues to laugh. It dies down as quickly as it started, and Larxene casually reaches behind her head with her left hand. “You know?” she chuckles, “I’m getting _really_ tired of people forgetting who the fuck I am. _Axel…_ ”

That’s his cue. He’s fast, so he has his hand on the knife that’s tucked between his belt and the waistband of his pants before either of the man can react. Larxene, on the other hand, is faster. Axel, blinks, and the kunai that she keeps strapped between her shoulder blades goes sailing through the air, burying itself in the trio leader’s throat. There’s a grunt, a loud, sickening gurgle, and he starts to stumble forward. Before he can hit the ground, Axel rushes forward and plunges the knife into his stomach, then shoves him into the second guy that charged at them. He loses sight of Larxene, but has no doubt in his mind that she can handle her own. So he focuses his attention on his next target, who is screaming and struggling to disentangle his former coworker’s limbs from his own. He tosses the body to the ground and stumbles backward. Axel grabs him by the collar, switches his grip to the back of his head, and slams his face into the brick wall once, twice, and a third time. Blood drips down the wall as the body slides to the ground, falling onto its back. The features are unrecognizable.

The scuffle barely lasts a full sixty seconds. Axel huffs as he wipes the droplets of blood from his upper lip with the back of his wrist. The knife is stored in its usual place, and he turns to face Larxene again, who looks equally as annoyed as he is. His arms rise as he glares. “Maybe we’ll get a bigger shipment,” he mocked bitterly, dropping his arms to his sides again. “Stop whining. Let’s wait until the sun is up.”

“Fuck up,” Larxene hissed as she walked over to snatch her weapon out of the man’s neck. “So we didn’t get our food. You know what we did get? Proof.”

Axel shuts his eyes to keep from rolling them, and takes a deep breath to calm himself down. Despite his efforts, an aggravated sigh still manages to slip past his lips. “Proof of…?” he asks as he scratches his scalp. It’s a terrible habit that, even after all these years, he still has yet to kick.

“Proof of Braig being a lying bastard that’s scamming people out of their rations.” Larxene starts walking, and Axel quickly falls into step next to her, listening intently. “I’ve been hearing rumors that Braig was holding out on people and lying about shipments, but every time I brought it up, he managed to smooth talk his way out of it. So I started logging every shipment date, every payment, and every single can of food or packet of seasoning that’s been delivered to us. Sure enough, we’ve steadily been paying him more and receiving less. Fucker probably knew that I would catch on and sent his pathetic goons here to try and get rid of us because he knew he couldn’t keep up the charade for long.”

As the two of them rounded the corner, Axel nodded. “So what are we going to do about it?”

Without missing a beat, Larxene answers: “Kill him.”

“Whoa, whoa, _whoa_ ,” Axel exclaims as he comes to stand in front of the seething blonde. “I’m pissed about it too, but let’s think about this for a second. We _can’t_ kill him. Braig has his own miniature army—”

“And?”

“—and he’s holed up near the docks. That’s a heavily guarded area, and they have _guns_. Our shit’s busted right now, so there’s no way we’ll be able to make it to him, let alone past the gate. I say we lay low, pretend that the guys didn’t even show up, and just steal his shit from the inside.”

Electric green meets acid green, and for the first time in years, Axel feels a lump form in his throat. Larxene is very prone to fits of rage, but he’s never seen her _this_ pissed before. She takes a slow step forward, glaring up at him like she could end his life right then and there. “What is the point of you having the balls that swing between your legs?” she spits, words dripping with venom. “Because you sure as shit don’t fucking use them. Braig tried to kill us today over a couple extra ration cards. I know that everyone’s been running low on morals ever since the infected showed up, but that is no excuse to fuck over someone who has been by your side protecting you, helping you, and being _loyal_ to you for the last twenty goddamn years. He wants to play hitman? We’ll show him how to do it properly, take his shit, and run it ourselves. Either you’re coming with me and getting something to fucking eat, or you can go back to the building and curl up with your beer and your peaches like a little bitch. I’m going to find Braig. What’s it gonna be?”

Axel releases a breath through his nose. He can feel his nostrils flaring in anger, and an uncomfortable pulse behind his eyes. This is the last thing he wants to do. Sure, Braig betrayed him, but he was certain that this would get them into way more trouble—possibly even draw the attention of the military. But there was a part of him that cared for Larxene, and what would become of her if she went in without his company. They worked better as a team; they’d _been_ a team for years now. That wasn’t going to stop any time soon. “Like hell I’m letting you go by yourself.”

“All right then,” she whispers. They hold each other’s gaze for a few more seconds before she steps around him, quickly stomping towards her destination. Axel follows obediently, hoping that Larxene will change her mind during the journey, but trusting that she’s got the right idea. They’ve made it this far without dying or getting infected. He would continue to follow her lead until he saw that she was incapable of calling the shots.

* * *

Ever since the military had enacted martial law throughout all the cities—most parts of the world, to be more accurate—Twilight Town had been divided into three parts: North District, South District, and Center Zone, each separated by a thick iron gate that’s surrounded by possibly a dozen or more military officers who are always ready and willing to shoot down anyone who even coughs in wway they think is abnormal. Larxene and Axel reside in the South District; Braig lives in the north. Today, the city is on lockdown because of an explosion caused by the Fireflies: a group of people who are either seen as a threat to the current system that the government has put in place, or the ones who will finally bring peace and freedom.

Axel thinks it’s a load of bullshit. All the Fireflies ever do is boast about how they are the only ones who are still trying to search for a cure to the Cordyceps disease, and keeping the hope of the people alive. Yet every single time he’s heard about them, it was them picking fights with the military. How can they expect to bring peace to the world, even just the city when they’re the ones killing the military, blowing things up, and causing problems for everyone around? Axel is certainly no fan of the military. He doesn’t trust anyone who feels like they needed to threaten unarmed citizens with automatic weapons because they were caught outside two minutes past curfew. However, actively picking fights with the ones who are trying to bring even a semblance of order to the quarantine zones isn’t going to solve anything. It only makes the people who aren’t doing anything wrong struggle to travel through the city to see their loved ones, or in this case, kill a man.

Since Larxene and Axel can’t get to where they need to go using the normal route, they have to go underground. Inside of their shared apartment is a gaping hole in the floor covered only by a broken slab of wood. Larxene stands by as Axel removes the slab and drops down into what was supposed to be a dry patch of dirt. Instead, his boots made a disgusting squelch as he landed in mud, almost slipping and falling. He fought to regain his balance, sighing in relief when he finally did. He made a noise of disgust as some of it splashed up onto his clothes. “Hey, what the fuck?”

“What’s up?”

Axel shakes his head as he looks up at Larxene. “Mud.” It’s dark in this hole, so he can barely see anything, but from the few rays of light that are streaming in from above him, he can see that the mud goes on for quite a while. “Looks like a lot of it.”

Larxene groans as she sits on the edge of the hole. “Did you remember to close the other side? Because it rained pretty hard last night.”

“Yes, I…” Axel paused, narrowing his eyes. He actually couldn’t remember if he had. But if he couldn’t remember if he was telling the truth, then it technically wasn’t a blatant lie, right? “Of course I did. Demyx probably left it open.”

“…Right.” Larxene jumped down, landing a lot more gracefully than he had, but still slipping on sludge. She went on ahead of him as he reached up to pull the wood back over the hole. Larxene knew this place a lot better than he did, and she kept track of where she was going by using her knife to scrape the wall. Once the blade hit three different poles, they’d know that they were near the generator, which would provide them with light for the rest of the way. Axel followed behind her quietly, listening to the sound of their shoes in the mud, and the echo of metal against brick.

He couldn’t help but wonder what things would be like when they finally reached Braig. If they ever did reach him. As he mentioned before, the place was heavily guarded and they had guns. As skilled as they were with their knives, they couldn’t really expect to take them all out, could they? The last time he had arrived to speak to Braig, even while still on friendly terms, he had about a dozen men ready to put a bullet in his head simply for taking a step too close without announcing himself first. The man was paranoid and so were the people that kept him safe. Now, Axel knew why he took such drastic measures. The two of them probably weren’t the only ones that wanted him dead.

At the sound of a loud clang, Axel looked up. He still couldn’t see anything; perhaps it was just habit. “First pole,” Larxene announced. The amount of seconds between one footfall and the next decreased, and Axel took larger steps to keep up with her. Not too long after, he heard the noise again. “Second pole.” His fingers began to twitch in anticipation as he waited for the third. It had finally started to sink in that they were going to do this. Larxene wasn’t going to change her mind. If possible, she might be getting even more pissed the longer they stay in silence. He decides to try and cut the tension a bit.

“You know, if we joined the military, we’d be able to kill him without any repercussions,” he smirks to himself. It’s meant to be a tease, though he knows she probably won’t take it that way.

Larxene is quiet for a while. She probably won’t bother to respond to that. Axel opens his mouth to say something else, but she beats him to it. “Not in this lifetime or the next. I may be an awful human being but I still have enough of my sanity left intact to not be associated with those clowns.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m very obviously joking.”

“Make better jokes then.”

“Lighten _up_ ,” Axel complains. “If we’re going to throw our lives on the line on a whim, at least let me make a couple of shitty jokes—”

His words were cut off by the sound of yet another loud _clang_. “Third pole.”

Axel huffed as he reached his hand out to the left, searching for a wall that should be there. He takes a couple of slow, careful steps until his fingers come in contact with a hard, wooden surface, and he uses that to find his way to the generator. After fumbling around in the dark to find the handle to the cord, he grabs hold of it and pulls hard. The generator stutters. He pulls it again, listening as it threatens to start up, but never does. “Shit,” he mutters as he plants his feet and gives the handle another hard tug. The generator roars to life, filling the tunnel with light. With a satisfied sigh, Axel stands up straight and dusts his hands off. “Look for the light in the darkness, eh?” he grins.

Larxene stares at him, clearly unimpressed. “After Braig, you’re next.”

He can’t tell if that’s a real threat or not, nor does he care. “Better make it hurt.”

“I promise you, I will.” She shoulders past him to grab one of the backpacks on the makeshift work table next to the generator, throwing the brown one to Axel and keeping the black one for herself. Axel wastes no time strapping his own to his back. Larxene, however, unzips hers and pulls out a Shiny. Acid green eyes widen as she offers it to him, barrel pointed toward the ground. “Happy Birthday.”

Axel carefully takes the gun into his hands, as if one wrong move will cause it to crumble to dust in his hands. By the looks of it, it only held a few rounds, but he knew that it packed a lot of power. And it looked brand knew, hence the nickname _Shiny_. He slipped his index finger into the trigger hole, turning it over to look at the other side of it. Where did she get this from? No, a better question: “What day is it?”

“The eighth,” Larxene says casually, pulling yet another gun out of her bag. It isn't a Shiny, but it looks just as good as his own. She quickly tucks it in the waistband of her jeans and pulls her shirt down over it. The whole time, she refuses to meet his eye. He watches her zip up her bag and throw it over her shoulder. “Make yourself a calendar or something.”

She remembers his birthday. Axel has no idea _how_ she’d done that, but it means a lot to him. He tucks his gun away with a smile. He’d thank her, but she’ll probably tell him to shut up.

They continue through the tunnel until they reach the exit to Central Zone. Just as Larxene had suspected, the entrance hadn’t been covered. Before she starts complaining, Axel reaches up to find the slab of wood and covers the hole again. Larxene only sighs and keeps walking, which he considers to be a victory.

After having walked for what felt like ten minutes, he hears, “I’m waiting.”

His eyebrow rise. “For?”

“The shitty jokes. Let’s hear ‘em.”

The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile as he reaches up to fold his arms behind his head. “Okay, alright, listen: say we join the Fireflies. We help them with their cause, we find a cure, nobody has to fear being infected anymore. We distribute the cure to everyone _except_ Braig and keep him as a pet in our basement.”

Out of all the things he expects to hear, it definitely isn’t a laugh. It sounds like she’s genuinely amused by that, and he thinks it’s nice to hear. “Hey, if we did that, do you think it’d be messed up if we kept him in a cage and teased him with a dismembered arm? We’ll just never fucking feed him,” Larxene cackles.

Axel snorts. “I can imagine you standing there waving the arm back and forth like _now you know what it’s like to starve._ ”

Larxene laughs even harder, much to his surprise. “It also implies that we would continue to live together after this shit ends and that’s even more hilarious.”

“Of course we would. It’d be too much work to travel from my house to yours every day just to tease him with an arm. Which, by the way, we’d have to keep replacing because it’d eventually rot.”

“If you think I won’t keep the arm on ice just to preserve it for torturing that undead fuck, you’re dead wrong.”

Their laughter turns to soft chuckles as they continue walking. He hears a sigh from Larxene. Not a tired or aggravated one; it’s a much calmer sound. Axel is happy that she’s not so worked up anymore. Maybe now she’ll rethink her decision to go through with this. It can’t hurt to _try_ and talk her down. “Can we stop this now?” he asks, almost pleading with her. “Seriously, this is a bad idea. I’m not joking.”

Surprisingly, her voice remains soft when she speaks. “No. I’m sick and tired of the people in this city thinking they can walk all over me because I don’t have a dick.” She stops walking, and Axel does as well. When she turns to face him, he can see the weariness in her eyes. “I know it’s a bad idea, and I don’t care. All I want is to be left alone, and that’s not going to happen as long as he still draws breath.”

“Okay. Say we do kill him _and_ take over his whole operation. You think people will leave you alone once you’re in charge?” he asks, taking a step closer to her. “Someone is always going to want what you have even if you are being fair about the whole thing. If you don’t die trying to get in, you’ll probably die sitting at his desk one day.”

Larxene blinks slowly, frowning. “There’s not much that scares me, and death isn’t one of them. If this turns out to be the end, then we’ll have had a good run. So, let’s go out with a bang.”

She moves to walk away, but he quickly closes the distance between the two of them and grabs her wrist, pulling until she’s facing him again. Larxene tugs her arm to free her wrist, but he keeps it in a vice grip. Their eyes meet, and Axel feels himself getting angry. “There’s a better way than this,” he spoke, voice soft, but firm. “And you know that. Why are you so hell-bent on getting yourself killed?”

Larxene looks up and him, and her exhaustion becomes more apparent. It’s not just in her eyes. He can see it in the lack of color in her face, in her stance, in the way she’s choosing not to fight back against him. He desperately tries to search her face for an answer but finds none. Finally, Larxene speaks. “Maybe I’m tired of living.”

The blood in his veins goes cold as he stares at her. She’s telling the truth. He doesn’t know how to respond; he doesn’t know what to say to make it better. All Axel knows is that he’s terrified of losing another person. It was his sister first, then his parents, then Reno. He can’t lose her too. Pain in the ass or not, he’d rather have her by his side for the rest of his life than no one at all. His mouth hangs open, but no words come out. He wants to help. He wants _so badly_ to help. But how?

Larxene rips her wrist out of his grip with a frown. “I’m tired of going to sleep every night hoping I don’t wake up in the morning. I’m tired of fearing infection and going days without meals. I’m tired of the nightmares, the military, the Fireflies, Axel, I’m fucking _tired._ I can’t find it in myself to care about anything anymore.”

“And what about me—”

“What _about_ you?” she hisses.

He hadn’t expected that to hurt as much as it did. In hindsight, it was foolish of him to think that she cared for him the way he cared for her, or at all, really. She’d been clear about her intentions with him from the start. Axel had been the one that decided he wanted to protect her. Swallowing hard, he finishes his thoughgt, “You’re ready to die; I’m not. You’re okay with dragging me along to my possible death?”

“I already told you that if you can’t fucking handle this, you take your lanky ass home. If you die, that’s _your_ fault.”

“That’s bullshit,” he growls.

“Yeah, and you’re _full_ of it,” she bites back. “Is this your way of saying you care about me? Because I never asked you to. Grow the fuck up, _shut_ the fuck up, and choose. Come with me and stop talking, or go home and cry about it. You’re not going to talk me out of this.”

Axel narrows his eyes, unsure why this was pissing him off so much. He should have felt empathetic. He should have kept pushing her to talk about it because he knows that that’s what she needs right now. But instead, he sneers at her. “Fine. You wanna die so bad? Then don’t look to me for protection anymore. Keep your gun aimed at your own targets and I’ll do the same for me.”

“Fine.”

“ _Fine_.”

Larxene walks ahead of him once more. Axel follows, quietly fuming as he stuffs his hands into his pockets again. So much for trying to ease the tension between them. Now it’s even more tense than it was before. As they reach another wall, Axel watches as Larxene struggles to climb it without his help. So he does the same. He eventually does begin to regret what he’d said to her, but his pride won’t let him take it back or apologize. All he can do is hope that they have the skills to get past whatever lies ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me for fucking ever to get to, but it's here. I've been in a writing funk and doubting my ability to create something even half decent, but hey. I can't get better if I don't keep writing. I hope it isn't too bad!


End file.
